Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
