We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
