well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
