Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
