dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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