I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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