wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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