I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
