I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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