hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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