no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
