when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
