God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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