naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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