He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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