it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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