Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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