my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
