You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
