this just has baby written all over it
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
