told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
How's work?
Spinning.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
