I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
