It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
