Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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