well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
