Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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