didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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