she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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