I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
