One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
