Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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