I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
