I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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