i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
His hands were made for my vagina.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
