I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
