i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
