i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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