Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
