I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
