All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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