I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
