So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
