youre lurking in front of me
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
