I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
