Are we in a gay sports bar?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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