He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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