Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
