SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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