If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
