If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
worst night to have a conscience
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
