I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
