did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
