considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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