i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
